Gardening Notes for the CINC

Hey guys, I have some serious gardening to do today - it's a very inconsiderate time to start another "action." But, while grubbing out horehound and thistles, I thought I'd give the Commander in Chief (Community Organizer in Chief, I've heard him referred to, thanks John) a few tips on weeding. Just in case he has time for the garden after testing his new action toy - Operation Odyssey Dawn. From the bottom of the world in Aotearoa, a country that people's thoughts turn to during nuclear scares.

Once weeds have started to seed, you have to make a clear decision. Either leave them to their own devices or raze them completely. Choosing the middle ground (selectively weeding while inadvertantly shaking the seeds around and creating fresh-tilled soil on which to grow) is not a viable option. Before making that decision, look up the Hippocratic Oath and Asimov's First Law of Robotics. Read your constitution while you're at it, or at least skim the Cliffs Notes.

Some things don't transplant well. Rabbits, thistle, heather, gorse and rats come to mind. The rats were inevitable, they go everywhere ships go. The rest were introduced to Aotearoa by homesick Brits and Scots (I know Stephen, same thing but a difference in coloring). Flowering gorse may be pretty on the rolling hills of Scotland, in this more fertile land it has flourished and become a monster. Be careful what and where you plant - you can't control what will grow. You may end up creating new weeds inadvertantly (that word again!). Back to the Oath, First Law and Constitution.

You can't beat nature. It's like telling the tide to turn back. Look clearly at what is and recognize your limitations, and deal with it. Without me, the weeds will win. With me, the weeds will win, but I can utilize the soil more productively. But there's only so much a gardener can do and there are areas that the weeds and I have decided they can have.  Shit happens.