A Jezebel article appeared on my facebook page yesterday about the concept of female "purity" and I read it quickly, agreed with much of it, and shared it. Then had a totally unrelated long conversation with a long-married man who is a "great provider," didn't argue with my love because he isn't talking to me again this week, slept a little, thought a lot then reread the story today.
And, as much as I agree that the idea of purity and the whole "girls you fuck, girls you marry" concept is bullshit, I don't agree it is all the fault of males. I also don't agree that blaming males is any more valid than the whole "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" bullshit. (Apologies, John and Will, I'll tone the language down now.)
Quick reality check, people. Women are from earth, Men are from earth, both are human and fallible, get over it! The men writer Lindy West is complaining about on Jezebel were raised by women who helped instill their misogynist views. Elizabeth Stark was taught her "used gum" analogy by her parents and religious teachers, who were not all men. (I mean no disrespect to Stark's parents here, I understand they did not view her as "spoiled" when she returned but a precious gift they thought they had lost.)
But let's be honest, ladies, are we any better? How many times have I read articles by women writers on the "wrong guy" or the "bad guy" who is the "fun guy," versus the "good provider" we want to marry and be the father of our children? I've seen women who view their husbands or significant others as little more than an open wallet and I've seen men who treat their partners with disdain or disrespect. I avoid those people rather than expecting they are the norm.
Here's an idea, Lindy West. Why not avoid PEOPLE who think that way, regardless of their gender, and treat others with the respect you want to be treated with. It may not get as many shares on Jezebel, but you might be happier.