home . . .

It's been difficult coming home - my fault mainly

 

home

həʊm/

noun

noun: home; plural noun: homes

1. the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.
2. an institution for people needing professional care or supervision.

So here are some thoughts on the arrival:

Humility
There's nothing quite like coming home thinking you might be something or someone (lol) to get that knocked out of you.

My country is really good at knocking the confidence out of you, then giving it back in a whole different way

 Silence
I love the silence. I have missed the silence. But it takes time to be able to sleep with that vacuum.

Noise
I'm sure there must be a more Jedi way of saying this, but silence cannot exist without noise.

Sometimes, when a car comes roaring around the corner and spins out, or I hear women being abused in the car park at the local supermarket, I feel that is a whole other level of silence.

AND it needs to be addressed

oops, this next one is awkward

Hupermasculinity 

I love my brothers, and uncles and nephews, but damn, Aotearoa favors entities with penises

as does most of the world - I just expected better of my whenua

and, I have no right to critique, because i chose not to live here

Awhi and Aroha

and then, this is what matters

the aunties, the cuzzies, the people who care about you because you are whanau (family), or might be whanau, or just care about you anyway

the people who matter are the ones you choose

awhi and aroha